What Does Not Turn Women On That You Think Does!

I am writing this blog because it has come to my attention that there are some basics that a lot of men just don't know about or don't understand.  While I would like to think most men get the basics, I am reminded daily by women who mail me and prove me wrong.  This blog post is dedicated to these frustrated women.

1. First let me state, women for the most part are not visually stimulated.  I know a lot of men don't grasp this because there are a lot of texts out there that men have sent with pictures of their penis.  I had a guy email me that he was doing this to turn his girlfriend on and just didn't get why she didn't respond.  A picture of a Vagina or a hot naked girl may get you going, but a penis picture just doesn't do it for us.  We don't care how big or magnificent it is.  We know you adore it, but we just want to feel it work, not gaze upon it.

2. That brings me to penis worship.  There are some of you that think of your Penis as an individual bordering on Devine.  There are guys out there that even ask us to acknowledge their penis accordingly.  In other words, they actually say things like "Aren't you doing to say hey to Mr. Woody?"  Seriously, you think we want to talk to your penis?

3.  Pushing on our heads, pushing us down.  This drives most of us crazy.  We know you love a blow job, and most of us are more than willing.  We would rather do it at our pace though.  Being pushed down just feels yuck is the only way I can describe it.  If you do this often, I bet your woman is rarely in the mood.  The pushing makes us think it's all about you.  Consider telling her what you want instead.

4.  Groping or grabbing on us.  You know how you walk up to us and squeeze our breasts or grab our ass.  It's not a turn on.  Yes it can be playful, but most women just don't like it, at all.  A playful slap on the ass sure, but all that groping while we are busy doing something else can be annoying.  We don't want to be in the men's locker room, really we don't.

5.  Locking ankles behind ears is not a turn on for most women.  It goes back to the visual thing again.  We understand you like the view.  The fact is, most women are not at ease with their bodies.  When in this position, they don't feel very attractive.  They are not thinking of how good it feels.  They are thinking how fat they look with their belly pushed up like that.

6.  Poor hygiene.  This one is huge.  Little things turn women off.  I had one woman mail me about her hot boyfriend.  He was a stud in her eyes, until she saw an accumulation of wax in his ear.  She could not bring herself to have sex with him.  Sure he could have just had an ear infection, but the damage was done.  You body scent and breath are important too.  A little sweat is ok, but if you haven't bathed in days, we can smell it.  Bad breath is also a big turnoff.  While I love a hard working rugged man, I don't really want him in my bed until he bathes.

7.  No foreplay.  I am amazed at the frustrated women who complain about this.  Countless complaints here.  Some men go straight for the sweet spot with no warm up.  If it's not wet, it can actually hurt or be very uncomfortable.  Then there is the man that thinks because it's wet, it's time to insert the penis.  We love foreplay, don't skimp on this.

8.  Telling us when to cum or asking us are we cumming or asking did we cum.  The pressure that puts on us.  Most of us can't cum on command.  If you want us to come on command, I suggest you look into David Shade's program, Erotic Hypnosis.  It works and could be fun.  Otherwise, forget it.  Don't pressure us to orgasm, it's a sure way to make sure we don't.

9.  Breasts.  All women differ hear.  Some like them to be caressed softly, some like them to be handled roughly.  Some like them licked, some like them sucked.  If you suck on a woman who prefers licking, you will turn her completely off. Don't assume that your current woman likes what your previous woman does.  Ask her, find out how she likes to be touched.

10.  All women are different.  Going at your woman with what worked on the last one is not wise.  Take the time to find out what she likes.  Pay attention.  She gives off clues if she isn't comfortable yet telling you what she likes.  Listen to her breathing.  Watch her complexion.  If you could feel or hear her heartbeat, that tells you when she is about to climax.  It gets very rapid.  Not all of the above things turn all women off, just most.  We are all unique.  Learn our bodies individually and you will have a happy woman.

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What is Good Foreplay?

I am amazed at the number of men who really don't understand what good foreplay actually is.  Men often think of good foreplay as being able to get a woman ready for sex or penetration.  Foreplay is much more than this.  Foreplay is about turning her on and I mean really turning her on before any sexual act has even began.

If you think things such as touching the breasts or licking them is foreplay, you are slightly mistaken.  If you think rubbing her clitoris or licking her clitoris is foreplay again you are mistaken.  These are actually part of the sex act itself and not considered foreplay. Foreplay in my opinion leads up to these things.  It is not these things. 

How many of you jump in bed with your woman and you both get naked and you go straight for her intimate parts, touching, rubbing, licking etc...?  I would bet the number is astounding to be honest because most women, myself included say this is the normal.  Some men will take enough time to bring her to her first orgasm this way, but many get her wet, then move to intercourse.  So sad.  So frustrating.  So much missed pleasure for her.

If you have done your part and given good foreplay, your partner will be longing for you to touch her in these places.  She will be soaking wet before you ever even touch her most intimate parts.  Sure you can go straight for these parts and it feels good....eventually.  Note:  it is very uncomfortable for a woman when a man rubs her clitoris before she is ready for it.  It won't bring her to orgasm any quicker, it still going to take about the same amount of time.  She isn't built like a man.  Men usually go from contact to orgasm much quicker than women. 

Good foreplay involves lots of touching of her other parts.  Experiment, listen to her breathing and pay attention as you do this.  Women have many turn on zones.  No two women are the same.  Some like a soft touch, some like it more rough.  Find out what she likes.  Do more of this before you move in for the kill.  Teasing is Divine.  When you touch a woman in other areas she begins to get aroused and longs for you to touch her more intimately.  Then when you do, it's mind blowing for her. 

Think of when you are really really turned on.  You feel like you could explode.  Good foreplay will have your woman feeling like this before you have even ventured into these zones with her.  Good foreplay makes her feel like if you would just touch her there, she would explode.  Sex with a really really turned on woman will blow your mind so take the time to learn exactly what good foreplay is. It may not be what you think it is.

10 Things That Don't Turn Women On

I am writing this blog because it has come to my attention that there are some basics that a lot of men just don't know about or don't understand.  While I would like to think most men get the basics, I am reminded daily by women who mail me and prove me wrong.  This blog post is dedicated to these frustrated women.

1. First let me state, women for the most part are not visually stimulated.  I know a lot of men don't grasp this because there are a lot of texts out there that men have sent with pictures of their penis.  I had a guy email me that he was doing this to turn his girlfriend on and just didn't get why she didn't respond.  A picture of a Vagina or a hot naked girl may get you going, but a penis picture just doesn't do it for us.  We don't care how big or magnificent it is.  We know you adore it, but we just want to feel it work, not gaze upon it.

2. That brings me to penis worship.  There are some of you that think of your Penis as an individual bordering on Devine.  There are guys out there that even ask us to acknowledge their penis accordingly.  In other words, they actually say things like "Aren't you doing to say hey to Mr. Woody?"  Seriously, you think we want to talk to your penis?

3.  Pushing on our heads, pushing us down.  This drives most of us crazy.  We know you love a blow job, and most of us are more than willing.  We would rather do it at our pace though.  Being pushed down just feels yuck is the only way I can describe it.  If you do this often, I bet your woman is rarely in the mood.  The pushing makes us think it's all about you.  Consider telling her what you want instead.

4.  Groping or grabbing on us.  You know how you walk up to us and squeeze our breasts or grab our ass.  It's not a turn on.  Yes it can be playful, but most women just don't like it, at all.  A playful slap on the ass sure, but all that groping while we are busy doing something else can be annoying.  We don't want to be in the men's locker room, really we don't.

5.  Locking ankles behind ears is not a turn on for most women.  It goes back to the visual thing again.  We understand you like the view.  The fact is, most women are not at ease with their bodies.  When in this position, they don't feel very attractive.  They are not thinking of how good it feels.  They are thinking how fat they look with their belly pushed up like that.

6.  Poor hygiene.  This one is huge.  Little things turn women off.  I had one woman mail me about her hot boyfriend.  He was a stud in her eyes, until she saw an accumulation of wax in his ear.  She could not bring herself to have sex with him.  Sure he could have just had an ear infection, but the damage was done.  You body scent and breath are important too.  A little sweat is ok, but if you haven't bathed in days, we can smell it.  Bad breath is also a big turnoff.  While I love a hard working rugged man, I don't really want him in my bed until he bathes.

7.  No foreplay.  I am amazed at the frustrated women who complain about this.  Countless complaints here.  Some men go straight for the sweet spot with no warm up.  If it's not wet, it can actually hurt or be very uncomfortable.  Then there is the man that thinks because it's wet, it's time to insert the penis.  We love foreplay, don't skimp on this.

8.  Telling us when to cum or asking us are we cumming or asking did we cum.  The pressure that puts on us.  Most of us can't cum on command.  If you want us to come on command, I suggest you look into David Shade's program, Erotic Hypnosis.  It works and could be fun.  Otherwise, forget it.  Don't pressure us to orgasm, it's a sure way to make sure we don't.

9.  Breasts.  All women differ hear.  Some like them to be caressed softly, some like them to be handled roughly.  Some like them licked, some like them sucked.  If you suck on a woman who prefers licking, you will turn her completely off. Don't assume that your current woman likes what your previous woman does.  Ask her, find out how she likes to be touched.

10.  When a woman says no she means no.  A lot of men act like they don't hear her.  He makes his move and she turns him down, yet he keeps trying. He continues to make verbal hints or continues to attempt to fondle her. When she says no, respect this. It's just annoying when you won't take no for an answer. Worse if you cop an attitude or complain because you aren't going to get any.  Do you really not care if she wants to or not?  

All women are different.  Going at your woman with what worked on the last one is not wise.  Take the time to find out what she likes.  Pay attention.  She gives off clues if she isn't comfortable yet telling you what she likes.  Listen to her breathing.  Watch her complexion.  If you could feel or hear her heartbeat, that tells you when she is about to climax.  It gets very rapid.  Not all of the above things turn all women off, just most.  We are all unique.  Learn our bodies individually and you will have a happy woman.

  The Secrets of Female Sexuality
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The Big Mistake Good Men Often Make in Bed

There are a lot of good men out there.  They sincerely care if their partner gets pleasure from sex.  They learn what works on their woman and they make sure they do it to bring her to orgasm.  This is a good thing right?  Yes, of course, but and there is a but, not if it becomes the way you go about sex each and every time.  I call it the race to orgasm. 

I know a lot of good men who complain that their woman is rarely in the mood for sex.  Could that be because she feels the pressure of having that orgasm.  Let me see if I can explain.  The most obvious is that the sex may be too predictable and she is bored.  The less obvious is the pressure feeling.  In other words, when a man knows what works and he enters the bedroom with the intentions of doing this, she feels pressure to cum.  The sexual experience starts out in her mind as she knows exactly what he is going to do, and she knows he is doing it to get to the end result.  Her orgasm, then he goes on to get his.  This kind of sex is usually over in a few minutes. 

Most men already know that sex for a woman starts in the mind.  They don't all unfortunately understand how complex this is.  Women suffer from performance anxiety in an entirely different way than men do.  Men strive to bring women to orgasm while women strive to orgasm for their men.  This is a huge pressure on women, especially since a lot of women just don't reach orgasm that easily.  Going into the bedroom with this in her mind is enough to create a trigger in her that causes her to not be in the mood.  It's can create a sense of dread. 

So that is where a lot of good men make a big mistake in bed. They unknowingly put the pressure on a woman to perform.  How many men out there desire a screamer in bed?  A lot.  The screamer strokes his ego and makes him feel he is doing a good job.  Women are under more pressure than a lot of men realize in bed.  When women focus on trying to achieve orgasm it often has the reverse effect. 

A woman's sexuality and sensuality are very different that a mans.  I could give you many examples.  One for instance is if a woman is in the middle of an orgasm and you stop doing what you are doing, it will stop, she just stops coming.  That is a frustrating thing for a woman.  A man on the other hand, once he starts coming, an earthquake won't stop it.

Do you really and I mean really understand a woman's sexuality? 

The Secrets of Female Sexuality
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Why She Doesn't Want to Have Sex

I hear many men say their wives or girlfriends just lost interest in sex.  They wonder why.  In the beginning it seemed all hot.  Though it is natural for the sex to slow down some, often it's more to it than something to just be accepted as normal.  It usually boils down to boredom or the fact that it starts to feel like a chore or obligation for a woman.

One of two things happen over time.  The sex is always the same and even though she may experience orgasms, it often feels like to her, that is the man's main goal.  Don't get me wrong, it is a goal and one that yes you should absolutely have.  On the other hand if you go at it like a job, just trying to get her to cum, a lot get lost.  Women connect through sex emotionally.  If you aren't giving her that emotional fulfillment, all the orgasms in the world will be lost.  If she feels like you are going about it like you are fixing a car or mowing the lawn, it's just not so much fun anymore, not to mention it leaves a void.

Men often get carried away with the sex, meaning they start to feel very arroused and we women feel pressure to hurry up and cum.  The true sign of this.  If after she reaches an orgasm, you immediately go for getting yours.  While it's nice that you please us first, it starts to feel like the end goal was in fact your pleasure.  Next time your woman climaxes, stop, take your time.  You might be surprised as she reaches a second climax.  We want you to get yours, we really do, but we don't want to feel like we have to hurry up and cum. 

I was involved once upon a time with a man who had been married previously for 30 years.  He was a wonderful man.  After our relationship turned sexual though, I completely understood why he hadn't been getting sex in his marriage.  He was like a kid in a candy store.  It became all about how many ways he could cum.  Yes he pleased me, but I often felt like that was just a by product of his sexual pleasure.  I began to feel cheap.  He wanted me to do some weird stuff.  He put pressure on me and went about getting his weird stuff from the perception of a man.  Women don't think like men when it comes to sex.

I can guarantee a woman would be more likely to do many things for you if she didn't feel like sex always had to be the end result.  Take the pressure off of her, and the sex will come.  She may enjoy rubbing your back, but she doesn't feel inclined to do so because men often translate this kind of touching to she wants it NOW and this isn't always the case.  What she wants is the connection.  Give her that, you will get the sex.

It's the man coming up behind his wife in the kitchen thing.  He humps on her as she washes dishes.  To him, this can be a turn on and he gets an erection.  I can assure you very few women get wet being humped on from behind in the kitchen.  In fact it annoys most women to no end because she now knows he wants sex.

In summary, slow down cowboy.  Take it easy and slow.  Don't go straight for the spot.  There are times when yes that may be appropriate, as there are times when a quickie is just fine.  For the most part though, going straight for the spot and working to make her cum just feels like something is missing.  You aren't in touch with our true sexuality and that is something we all wish you men would take the time to do.  Understand our sexuality.

The Secrets of Female Sexuality

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Two Huge Mistakes Men Make in Bed

There are two mistakes that men make in bed that I would imagine there isn't a woman around that can't relate to.  If when talking to their girlfriends and the subject comes up, they will all sigh in unison, trust me.  We have all had these two mistakes done to us more than once.

The First Biggest Mistake That Men Make in Bed

You may be doing something really well.  You could be going down on her or stroking her or you may be pounding her like there is no tomorrow and it's feeling really good.  The mistake here is that you stop doing what is feeling really really good to her.  Why you stop, we don't know, but in that moment, we want to just shoot you, trust me.  We get frustrated and it feels just awful.  There is nothing worse than being on the brink or orgasm and you stop and go to something different.  The entire momentum is interrupted.  Unlike men, who once orgasm starts, it won't stop, we are left hanging.  You are going to explode even if your mama walks in.  Not us women, doesn't work that way.  Stimulation stops, so does the orgasm.  Just ughhh.

It would really serve you guys well to pay attention here to her breathing and heart rate and her complexion.  They are very telling as to where she is at.  Right before orgasm, a woman can feel her heart just beating very rapidly.  Hell I can hear it in my ears and it baffles me that you as a man can't pick up on this.  If you are thinking that "She is enjoying this so much, let me see what else I can do she might enjoy more", drop that mentality.  If it's working, let her cum, then go onto something else and give her another orgasm.



The Second Biggest Mistake Men Make in Bed

A mistake that men make in bed often is that they get stuck in a spot doing it all wrong.  Maybe they are rubbing her clit or going down on her as mentioned above, but they are in the wrong place or putting on too much pressure or not enough.  Maybe they are rubbing or licking the lower half of her clit and she likes to have the upper part stimulated.  Men do this for one of two reasons. 

1.  They want her to hurry up and cum because they are too excited and ready to cum themselves. 

2.  They don't care or know any better.  They really don't know what their woman prefers.  All women are not alike and don't respond to the same thing.  When a man goes straight for the spot and starts rubbing away before it's even wet, he has a long road ahead of him to making her cum more times than not.  It downright can hurt and pain does not result in orgasm. 

If one of those two reasons don't resonate with you, you can bet that is how she feels.  Women often worry that it takes them too long to cum and that you are getting tired or not enjoying it.  Put that pressure on a woman and find it's going to take her that much longer to reach orgasm, if she even can.  Many women can't or don't orgasm because they don't feel their men really are that interested in her orgasm.  This is when they may start to fake it, because it's turning into work.  This is when they start getting a lot of head aches or aren't in the mood. It's a vicious cycle. 

Break this cycle please before she starts to fantasize about another man.  Don't make her have to finish herself off in those few minutes it takes you to go to the bathroom and piss after sex. 

Give Women Wild Screaming Orgasms

Getting Her In The Mood

I often hear men who have been in a relationship for a while of are married complain that they rarely get sex anymore.  We get comfortable and the fact is, it does take effort to keep that spice alive.  If you come home every day and do the same thing such as park you ass in front of the TV, it gets dull.  Not to mention a man parked in front of a TV everyday does lose some of his appeal.

Men can go from zero to ready in a flash.  We can grab your penis and you are there.  You try grabbing our Vagina or ass though and I promise you won't get the same result.  It's a known fact that a woman has to be in the right mindset to want to have sex and be turned on.  So many men focus on her body to turn her on, when the focus should be on her mindset.

Last night my boyfriend and I were on Youtube listening to different types of music.  Like most men, his requests were of hard rock, classic rock and a few country drinking songs.  While those songs are great and have their place, my selection was quite different.  I was listening to Leon Russell's Lady Blue, Van Morrison's Someone exactly like you, Bozz Skaggs' Look What You've done to me and other such romantic slow blues type music.  I realized that this type of music relaxed me and put me in a more loving, lovemaking mood.

This music can stimulate our tired minds, calm us and the result is our mindset starts to change.  My one tip to help your woman and to getting her in the mood for today is to create a playlist with these type of songs and when the time is right, pop in the cd and just relax, have a glass of wine with your woman with this background music.  She not only will appreciate the fact that you did this for her, she will delight in the music itself.  Women are suckers for romantic songs   Take it up a notch, and dance with her in the living room or kitchen.

Another way if you have one of those high tech phones is to randomly text her these songs throughout the day.  I promise she will love you for it and you will reap the rewards of making your woman feel romantic.  Women love romance, always have, always will.  If you are leaving the romance out of your build up to sex, no wonder you aren't getting any.