I am going to be real here. I have polled over 200 women about what they don't like in bed. It was pretty enlightening. It seems that my claim most men don't know what they don't know is pretty accurate. I am just going to list the top 20 complaints I got from women about their men in bed. I hope you don't fall into any of these. We really do want you to know though. We just don't want to tell you. We worry we will hurt your feelings or open a can of worms that will drive a wedge into the relationship. Do you really know what women want in bed or do you think you know?
1. Cindy says she can expect the same thing everytime. Her boyfriend fingers her to orgasm, then climbs on top and gets his. Same thing everytime. She is bored.
3. Lindsey said her guy will go down on her, get her almost there, but never finishes. She said he honestly doesn't know when she has an orgasm or not.
4. Tina said no foreplay at all. Her husband rubs on her a few minutes, maybe her back and hops on top.
5. Kayla says her guy thinks the moment she is wet, it's time to put it in. He assumes because she is wet, she is ready.
6. Roxie's guy gropes her roughly, she has tried to tell him to slow it down and be gentle, but he gets carried away with his own pleasure and doesn't pay her any attention.
7. Diane said her tits hurt like hell after sex. Her husband grabs them and kneads them much like biscuit dough. She has told him jokingly, but he still does it.
8. Betsy's guy fingers her a long time, but he doesn't get it right. He never seems to hit the spot, she has had a few orgasms by shear chance, but for the most part, it's just uncomfortable.
9. Jennifer says her guy of 3 years is always wanting a blow job. She doesn't mind, but wishes he was as enthusiastic when it came to going down on her.
10. Sarah dates a guy obsessed with entering her back door. She is against this, but he is constantly referring to it.
In summary, there were 16 women who were completely satisfied. The rest did not have orgasms everytime and were usually left frustrated. A few had never had an orgasm with their partners. Some after years could count them on one hand and it was rare to have a woman remark she could have a vaginal orgasm.
So what's going on? Is it communication? Some of this may be hard to believe, but from my own experience and that of my closest friends, I can tell you, it's pretty accurate. I dated a guy a year and never once had an orgasm with him. He did not know, he assumed I did. I dated another guy for 8 years and had 1 orgasm and I had to do most of the work to make that happen. I could go on and on. One of my best friends just cheated on her boyfriend. She had tried to tell him he wasn't doing it for her, but he got offended and defensive, which is why we don't tell you.
I have had in my lifetime 1 partner that got it and could hit it out the ball park and it had nothing to do with the size of his penis. One! Now there were a few that were really good, but great? No, just one. Sad.
So why aren't you guys doing more to find out what women want in bed? What's up with that. You think if it's not broke why fix it. You think it's good. What's wrong with taking good to great? Women can and want to take it to higher levels. We are built that way. We can orgasm more than once. We are reluctant to let go of the skillful lover. Is that you?
Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Top 4 Things Not to Do With Women in Bed
1. Asking Her What Turns Her On
Talk to women any day and you will find their biggest complaint is communication, men just don't really know how. Asking her seems logical right? Wrong. We appreciate the effort, really we do, but for most of us, opening up like that is not an easy task. We want a man who leads, who pays attention and knows what to do. We do understand you can't read minds, but we know somewhere inside that if you pay really close attention to the signals of our body, you will learn what turns us on without asking.
If you just ask her "What turns you on?" you might get a good answer. She might even like it when you ask her. But there is a strong chance that, on some unconscious level, she will feel a weakness in you and be disappointed.
She will be less turned on by the sexual experience if she feels weakness. The key is to get her to open up and get her to show you without you asking.
2. Using Techniques to Please Her
Techniques are great, but again, a woman's orgasm really is directly connected with her brain. The problem with these techniques is that all women are different. What works on one, will not work on another. A woman can tell when you are just focused on a mastering a technique. This means one thing to her, you aren't focused on her but on what you are doing at the time. She then feels pressure to reward you for your efforts. We often fake orgasms at times like this just to get you to stop. It makes us very uncomfortable to have a man doing some robotic thing hoping to bring us to orgasm.
3. Not Understanding the Sexual Language of Women
Sexual communication is foreign to most men. Women give off all kinds of signals, but you aren't understanding her most of the time. Have you ever been going down on a woman and for some reason you feel she may be up there sleeping? Have you ever had a woman getting really excited and she pushed you away or stopped you? This is happening because again, you aren't paying attention and she is frustrated. If you can learn how to listen to a woman's body and really pay attention, she is capable of having an incredible sexual experience. Tons of signals are being sent out when a woman is close to orgasm. Men misinterpret them for many reason, one of which is he may be looking for the standard orgasm response. Screaming, moaning,what ever he has encountered before. Not all women are alike and I can't stress this enough. Some orgasm quietly and you have to pay attention to her breathing. Others thrash around. Some are still. It is critical to be able to read her sexual language and all women speak it differently.
4. Not Doing Anything To Fix It
The 4th and biggest mistake of all. If you don't do anything to fix it. Women will stay and remain faithful to you if you are an incredible lover, don't underestimate the power of it. If you aren't doing it, chances are somewhere out there is a man who will take the time and effort to take her to higher sexual levels.
Are you the best lover she ever had? Are you sure? You can be.
Talk to women any day and you will find their biggest complaint is communication, men just don't really know how. Asking her seems logical right? Wrong. We appreciate the effort, really we do, but for most of us, opening up like that is not an easy task. We want a man who leads, who pays attention and knows what to do. We do understand you can't read minds, but we know somewhere inside that if you pay really close attention to the signals of our body, you will learn what turns us on without asking.
If you just ask her "What turns you on?" you might get a good answer. She might even like it when you ask her. But there is a strong chance that, on some unconscious level, she will feel a weakness in you and be disappointed.
She will be less turned on by the sexual experience if she feels weakness. The key is to get her to open up and get her to show you without you asking.
2. Using Techniques to Please Her
Techniques are great, but again, a woman's orgasm really is directly connected with her brain. The problem with these techniques is that all women are different. What works on one, will not work on another. A woman can tell when you are just focused on a mastering a technique. This means one thing to her, you aren't focused on her but on what you are doing at the time. She then feels pressure to reward you for your efforts. We often fake orgasms at times like this just to get you to stop. It makes us very uncomfortable to have a man doing some robotic thing hoping to bring us to orgasm.
3. Not Understanding the Sexual Language of Women
Sexual communication is foreign to most men. Women give off all kinds of signals, but you aren't understanding her most of the time. Have you ever been going down on a woman and for some reason you feel she may be up there sleeping? Have you ever had a woman getting really excited and she pushed you away or stopped you? This is happening because again, you aren't paying attention and she is frustrated. If you can learn how to listen to a woman's body and really pay attention, she is capable of having an incredible sexual experience. Tons of signals are being sent out when a woman is close to orgasm. Men misinterpret them for many reason, one of which is he may be looking for the standard orgasm response. Screaming, moaning,what ever he has encountered before. Not all women are alike and I can't stress this enough. Some orgasm quietly and you have to pay attention to her breathing. Others thrash around. Some are still. It is critical to be able to read her sexual language and all women speak it differently.
4. Not Doing Anything To Fix It
The 4th and biggest mistake of all. If you don't do anything to fix it. Women will stay and remain faithful to you if you are an incredible lover, don't underestimate the power of it. If you aren't doing it, chances are somewhere out there is a man who will take the time and effort to take her to higher sexual levels.
Are you the best lover she ever had? Are you sure? You can be.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Do You Really Know if She Had an Orgasm
Most guys have watched porn in their lifetimes. Most I hope know that it is really an unrealistic image painted as to women in the bedroom. In porn, they scream, yell to you they are cuming, shout profanities etc...While some women may do this, it really isn't the norm.
I would say 95% of the men I have been with or my many clients have been with are clueless if they have had an orgasm or not. The majority of men spend a few minutes on foreplay and go straight for the playground. Now they may be considerate and just go to the playground to rub or lick and that's nice and all, but most women would rather you walk slowly to the playground, don't run.
All women are different. Some may scream, other women orgasm quietly. If a woman has just experienced a clitoral orgasm, touch there shortly after may be uncomfortable. If you can still touch her there and she doesn't push you away, she hasn't had an orgasm more than likely.
The biggest complaint I get from my female clients is how they will be so close to orgasm and then their partner stops doing what he was doing and moves to something else he thinks might please her. Ugghhh, this just kills us. Shows us you aren't paying attention.
Women are capable of multiple, very strong orgasms. Do you know how to take her to a higher sexual peak?
I would say 95% of the men I have been with or my many clients have been with are clueless if they have had an orgasm or not. The majority of men spend a few minutes on foreplay and go straight for the playground. Now they may be considerate and just go to the playground to rub or lick and that's nice and all, but most women would rather you walk slowly to the playground, don't run.
All women are different. Some may scream, other women orgasm quietly. If a woman has just experienced a clitoral orgasm, touch there shortly after may be uncomfortable. If you can still touch her there and she doesn't push you away, she hasn't had an orgasm more than likely.
The biggest complaint I get from my female clients is how they will be so close to orgasm and then their partner stops doing what he was doing and moves to something else he thinks might please her. Ugghhh, this just kills us. Shows us you aren't paying attention.
Women are capable of multiple, very strong orgasms. Do you know how to take her to a higher sexual peak?
Monday, November 1, 2010
Do Women Fantasize
Women fantasize about hot sex just as much as men do, trust me. We fantasize about all sorts of things, mainly a man doing or knowing to do certain things and I must add, for a long enough time to blow our minds.
Unfortunately, like most of your sexual fantasies, it rarely happens in real life. Most of us women have never had this kind the kind of sex we fantasize about and if we had, we can probably count it on one hand, maybe even one finger. The majority of women fantasize during masturbation. The great thing about masturbation is we cum every time in a matter of minutes if we choose. We want you to be able to do this to us, that is what we really want. Women fantasize about a man blowing her mind and loving every minute of it.
Sad though, we know most of you want to, so what is the problem? I think most of you really don't know how. We have to feel safe for one, we have to feel comfortable enough to share things with you without feeling like you will think we are way too much trouble to please. That really is one of our biggest fears and as you probably know, sex with a woman starts in her mind. If her head ain't in it, she ain't going to cum.
This should not discount skill and technique though. I have a few very skilled lovers, the thing is, they just weren't skilled long enough. They mistook my heavy breathing and wetness to mean I was there. Next thing you know the man is mounting and is done.
Have any of you considered that you can still touch us after you have had yours? Most think it is over. Try it, see what happens. Did you know that often that is the time when we are most aroused, especially if we haven't had our orgasm. Take her to the next level and chances are, you just might get aroused again and blow her mind. Do you know how many women fantasize after it's over wishing you would just touch them again, but are scared to tell you? They fear you will think they are a freak.
Women are capable of multiple orgasms. We really want you to take the time to learn how. Sex can be revolutionary if you are willing to learn. Take care of your woman. Be one of the few that gets how to blow a woman's mind in the bedroom.
Unfortunately, like most of your sexual fantasies, it rarely happens in real life. Most of us women have never had this kind the kind of sex we fantasize about and if we had, we can probably count it on one hand, maybe even one finger. The majority of women fantasize during masturbation. The great thing about masturbation is we cum every time in a matter of minutes if we choose. We want you to be able to do this to us, that is what we really want. Women fantasize about a man blowing her mind and loving every minute of it.
Sad though, we know most of you want to, so what is the problem? I think most of you really don't know how. We have to feel safe for one, we have to feel comfortable enough to share things with you without feeling like you will think we are way too much trouble to please. That really is one of our biggest fears and as you probably know, sex with a woman starts in her mind. If her head ain't in it, she ain't going to cum.
This should not discount skill and technique though. I have a few very skilled lovers, the thing is, they just weren't skilled long enough. They mistook my heavy breathing and wetness to mean I was there. Next thing you know the man is mounting and is done.
Have any of you considered that you can still touch us after you have had yours? Most think it is over. Try it, see what happens. Did you know that often that is the time when we are most aroused, especially if we haven't had our orgasm. Take her to the next level and chances are, you just might get aroused again and blow her mind. Do you know how many women fantasize after it's over wishing you would just touch them again, but are scared to tell you? They fear you will think they are a freak.
Women are capable of multiple orgasms. We really want you to take the time to learn how. Sex can be revolutionary if you are willing to learn. Take care of your woman. Be one of the few that gets how to blow a woman's mind in the bedroom.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
