Wednesday, November 16, 2011

10 Things That Don't Turn Women On

I am writing this blog because it has come to my attention that there are some basics that a lot of men just don't know about or don't understand.  While I would like to think most men get the basics, I am reminded daily by women who mail me and prove me wrong.  This blog post is dedicated to these frustrated women.

1. First let me state, women for the most part are not visually stimulated.  I know a lot of men don't grasp this because there are a lot of texts out there that men have sent with pictures of their penis.  I had a guy email me that he was doing this to turn his girlfriend on and just didn't get why she didn't respond.  A picture of a Vagina or a hot naked girl may get you going, but a penis picture just doesn't do it for us.  We don't care how big or magnificent it is.  We know you adore it, but we just want to feel it work, not gaze upon it.

2. That brings me to penis worship.  There are some of you that think of your Penis as an individual bordering on Devine.  There are guys out there that even ask us to acknowledge their penis accordingly.  In other words, they actually say things like "Aren't you doing to say hey to Mr. Woody?"  Seriously, you think we want to talk to your penis?

3.  Pushing on our heads, pushing us down.  This drives most of us crazy.  We know you love a blow job, and most of us are more than willing.  We would rather do it at our pace though.  Being pushed down just feels yuck is the only way I can describe it.  If you do this often, I bet your woman is rarely in the mood.  The pushing makes us think it's all about you.  Consider telling her what you want instead.

4.  Groping or grabbing on us.  You know how you walk up to us and squeeze our breasts or grab our ass.  It's not a turn on.  Yes it can be playful, but most women just don't like it, at all.  A playful slap on the ass sure, but all that groping while we are busy doing something else can be annoying.  We don't want to be in the men's locker room, really we don't.

5.  Locking ankles behind ears is not a turn on for most women.  It goes back to the visual thing again.  We understand you like the view.  The fact is, most women are not at ease with their bodies.  When in this position, they don't feel very attractive.  They are not thinking of how good it feels.  They are thinking how fat they look with their belly pushed up like that.

6.  Poor hygiene.  This one is huge.  Little things turn women off.  I had one woman mail me about her hot boyfriend.  He was a stud in her eyes, until she saw an accumulation of wax in his ear.  She could not bring herself to have sex with him.  Sure he could have just had an ear infection, but the damage was done.  You body scent and breath are important too.  A little sweat is ok, but if you haven't bathed in days, we can smell it.  Bad breath is also a big turnoff.  While I love a hard working rugged man, I don't really want him in my bed until he bathes.

7.  No foreplay.  I am amazed at the frustrated women who complain about this.  Countless complaints here.  Some men go straight for the sweet spot with no warm up.  If it's not wet, it can actually hurt or be very uncomfortable.  Then there is the man that thinks because it's wet, it's time to insert the penis.  We love foreplay, don't skimp on this.

8.  Telling us when to cum or asking us are we cumming or asking did we cum.  The pressure that puts on us.  Most of us can't cum on command.  If you want us to come on command, I suggest you look into David Shade's program, Erotic Hypnosis.  It works and could be fun.  Otherwise, forget it.  Don't pressure us to orgasm, it's a sure way to make sure we don't.

9.  Breasts.  All women differ hear.  Some like them to be caressed softly, some like them to be handled roughly.  Some like them licked, some like them sucked.  If you suck on a woman who prefers licking, you will turn her completely off. Don't assume that your current woman likes what your previous woman does.  Ask her, find out how she likes to be touched.

10.  When a woman says no she means no.  A lot of men act like they don't hear her.  He makes his move and she turns him down, yet he keeps trying. He continues to make verbal hints or continues to attempt to fondle her. When she says no, respect this. It's just annoying when you won't take no for an answer. Worse if you cop an attitude or complain because you aren't going to get any.  Do you really not care if she wants to or not?  

All women are different.  Going at your woman with what worked on the last one is not wise.  Take the time to find out what she likes.  Pay attention.  She gives off clues if she isn't comfortable yet telling you what she likes.  Listen to her breathing.  Watch her complexion.  If you could feel or hear her heartbeat, that tells you when she is about to climax.  It gets very rapid.  Not all of the above things turn all women off, just most.  We are all unique.  Learn our bodies individually and you will have a happy woman.

  The Secrets of Female Sexuality
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Monday, November 14, 2011

The Big Mistake Good Men Often Make in Bed

There are a lot of good men out there.  They sincerely care if their partner gets pleasure from sex.  They learn what works on their woman and they make sure they do it to bring her to orgasm.  This is a good thing right?  Yes, of course, but and there is a but, not if it becomes the way you go about sex each and every time.  I call it the race to orgasm. 

I know a lot of good men who complain that their woman is rarely in the mood for sex.  Could that be because she feels the pressure of having that orgasm.  Let me see if I can explain.  The most obvious is that the sex may be too predictable and she is bored.  The less obvious is the pressure feeling.  In other words, when a man knows what works and he enters the bedroom with the intentions of doing this, she feels pressure to cum.  The sexual experience starts out in her mind as she knows exactly what he is going to do, and she knows he is doing it to get to the end result.  Her orgasm, then he goes on to get his.  This kind of sex is usually over in a few minutes. 

Most men already know that sex for a woman starts in the mind.  They don't all unfortunately understand how complex this is.  Women suffer from performance anxiety in an entirely different way than men do.  Men strive to bring women to orgasm while women strive to orgasm for their men.  This is a huge pressure on women, especially since a lot of women just don't reach orgasm that easily.  Going into the bedroom with this in her mind is enough to create a trigger in her that causes her to not be in the mood.  It's can create a sense of dread. 

So that is where a lot of good men make a big mistake in bed. They unknowingly put the pressure on a woman to perform.  How many men out there desire a screamer in bed?  A lot.  The screamer strokes his ego and makes him feel he is doing a good job.  Women are under more pressure than a lot of men realize in bed.  When women focus on trying to achieve orgasm it often has the reverse effect. 

A woman's sexuality and sensuality are very different that a mans.  I could give you many examples.  One for instance is if a woman is in the middle of an orgasm and you stop doing what you are doing, it will stop, she just stops coming.  That is a frustrating thing for a woman.  A man on the other hand, once he starts coming, an earthquake won't stop it.

Do you really and I mean really understand a woman's sexuality

The Secrets of Female Sexuality
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