Two Huge Mistakes Men Make in Bed

There are two mistakes that men make in bed that I would imagine there isn't a woman around that can't relate to.  If when talking to their girlfriends and the subject comes up, they will all sigh in unison, trust me.  We have all had these two mistakes done to us more than once.

The First Biggest Mistake That Men Make in Bed

You may be doing something really well.  You could be going down on her or stroking her or you may be pounding her like there is no tomorrow and it's feeling really good.  The mistake here is that you stop doing what is feeling really really good to her.  Why you stop, we don't know, but in that moment, we want to just shoot you, trust me.  We get frustrated and it feels just awful.  There is nothing worse than being on the brink or orgasm and you stop and go to something different.  The entire momentum is interrupted.  Unlike men, who once orgasm starts, it won't stop, we are left hanging.  You are going to explode even if your mama walks in.  Not us women, doesn't work that way.  Stimulation stops, so does the orgasm.  Just ughhh.

It would really serve you guys well to pay attention here to her breathing and heart rate and her complexion.  They are very telling as to where she is at.  Right before orgasm, a woman can feel her heart just beating very rapidly.  Hell I can hear it in my ears and it baffles me that you as a man can't pick up on this.  If you are thinking that "She is enjoying this so much, let me see what else I can do she might enjoy more", drop that mentality.  If it's working, let her cum, then go onto something else and give her another orgasm.



The Second Biggest Mistake Men Make in Bed

A mistake that men make in bed often is that they get stuck in a spot doing it all wrong.  Maybe they are rubbing her clit or going down on her as mentioned above, but they are in the wrong place or putting on too much pressure or not enough.  Maybe they are rubbing or licking the lower half of her clit and she likes to have the upper part stimulated.  Men do this for one of two reasons. 

1.  They want her to hurry up and cum because they are too excited and ready to cum themselves. 

2.  They don't care or know any better.  They really don't know what their woman prefers.  All women are not alike and don't respond to the same thing.  When a man goes straight for the spot and starts rubbing away before it's even wet, he has a long road ahead of him to making her cum more times than not.  It downright can hurt and pain does not result in orgasm. 

If one of those two reasons don't resonate with you, you can bet that is how she feels.  Women often worry that it takes them too long to cum and that you are getting tired or not enjoying it.  Put that pressure on a woman and find it's going to take her that much longer to reach orgasm, if she even can.  Many women can't or don't orgasm because they don't feel their men really are that interested in her orgasm.  This is when they may start to fake it, because it's turning into work.  This is when they start getting a lot of head aches or aren't in the mood. It's a vicious cycle. 

Break this cycle please before she starts to fantasize about another man.  Don't make her have to finish herself off in those few minutes it takes you to go to the bathroom and piss after sex. 

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Getting Her In The Mood

I often hear men who have been in a relationship for a while of are married complain that they rarely get sex anymore.  We get comfortable and the fact is, it does take effort to keep that spice alive.  If you come home every day and do the same thing such as park you ass in front of the TV, it gets dull.  Not to mention a man parked in front of a TV everyday does lose some of his appeal.

Men can go from zero to ready in a flash.  We can grab your penis and you are there.  You try grabbing our Vagina or ass though and I promise you won't get the same result.  It's a known fact that a woman has to be in the right mindset to want to have sex and be turned on.  So many men focus on her body to turn her on, when the focus should be on her mindset.

Last night my boyfriend and I were on Youtube listening to different types of music.  Like most men, his requests were of hard rock, classic rock and a few country drinking songs.  While those songs are great and have their place, my selection was quite different.  I was listening to Leon Russell's Lady Blue, Van Morrison's Someone exactly like you, Bozz Skaggs' Look What You've done to me and other such romantic slow blues type music.  I realized that this type of music relaxed me and put me in a more loving, lovemaking mood.

This music can stimulate our tired minds, calm us and the result is our mindset starts to change.  My one tip to help your woman and to getting her in the mood for today is to create a playlist with these type of songs and when the time is right, pop in the cd and just relax, have a glass of wine with your woman with this background music.  She not only will appreciate the fact that you did this for her, she will delight in the music itself.  Women are suckers for romantic songs   Take it up a notch, and dance with her in the living room or kitchen.

Another way if you have one of those high tech phones is to randomly text her these songs throughout the day.  I promise she will love you for it and you will reap the rewards of making your woman feel romantic.  Women love romance, always have, always will.  If you are leaving the romance out of your build up to sex, no wonder you aren't getting any.

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Masterful Lover? What About Him?

What is a Masterful Lover? A man that can bring a woman to multiple orgasms. A man that can tune into his woman, make her feel a level of comfort and freedom where she just lets go. A man that understands it's not just skill, but it's mental for a woman. Orgasm starts in her mind. A masterful lover will be able to bring his woman to many orgasms, both vaginal and clitoral.

A Masterful Lover is rare. Most men stop at the first orgasm. The majority of men will bring their women to orgasm first, then they get theirs and it's over. Few take it to the levels that a woman is capable of reaching. Even fewer understand this or know that women are capable of so much more.

I recently interviewed with David Shade, the man responsible for teaching and educating men about being a Masterful Lover. It was quite and interesting two hours as he probed and prodded me about the lovers in my past. Sad thing, I only really have had one Masterful Lover. I have had many a good lover, but only one Masterful Lover. Until my interview, I never really thought about it, but boy have I dreamed about it. Fantasized about it as all women do.

Seems my one Masterful Lover to this day, I don't know how or why he stood out above the others, but he did. Now I wonder was he one of David's students. I may never know.

Almost all women do dream about this man that is so rare. We all would love to not be able to get out of bed after sex from exhaustion and legs shaking, trembling. It rarely happens. Men do the same thing almost every time. They find something that gets their women off and they stop searching for other ways to please her. It becomes predictable.

Do you have any idea how many women lay in bed and masturbate after their lover is "finished" or has went to the bathroom. Yep, we do. We may have even had an orgasm, but we can masturbate while you are taking a quick piss and have another orgasm in less than a minute. We all do it, bet you didn't know that did you.

We don't feel comfortable more times than not sharing these things, because frankly we worry that you will think we are abnormal. Not all women are comfortable asserting themselves, few are. It's up to you to get in her head and really please her in bed.

Often when we do assert ourselves we are met with a negative response. I remember a huge fight one night with a man. He asked me to leave and said it wasn't all about sex. He was right about that of course, but what really happened there is I wounded his ego. I perhaps didn't communicate it correctly. I wasn't saying he didn't please me. I was saying he could please me more. What a nightmare, makes a woman want to keep her mouth shut.

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About Female Ejaculation

According to Wikepedia female ejaculation is as follows. Female ejaculation (commonly known as gushing, cumming or squirting[1]) refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of clear fluid by human females from the paraurethral ducts through and around the urethra during or before an orgasm. The exact source and nature of the fluid continues to be a topic of debate among medical professionals and is related to doubts over the existence of the G-Spot.

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I am not so sure what there is to actually to debate about female ejaculation. I have experienced it. So to me there is nothing to debate. It is surely a g-spot thing. From a woman's perspective though, it can be a touchy thing, meaning some men are turned on by it, some are turned off by it. I mean do you warn the man prior to sex or just surprise him? Some women are embarrassed by it, some are not.

I am no expert in this area by any means, but do know a quite a few women who can do this. One thing they all have in common is they are all over 40 so maybe it has something to do with being more in tune with you body which is more common in older women.

Another thing these women capable of female ejaculation have in common that I know is it does happen during intercourse generally, it is g-spot related and they are usually very comfortable with their partner, meaning they trust him.

The comfort with their partner is important, because if you don't know this already, orgasm for a woman is in her mind. If her mind is not in the right place, it won't happen. It's up to you to get her in the right place in her mind for her to reach a female ejaculation orgasm.

If you are a good lover, you probably would love to be able to bring your woman to this intense level of pleasure. I assure you it is intense and quite different from a clitoral orgasm or vaginal orgasm. If she has never experienced female ejaculation, she is missing out.

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Once a woman does experience female ejaculation, she usually doesn't look back and it can and will become a common thing for her. It's up to you though to help her get there.

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What Women Want in Bed

This is the question men ask all the time. There are over 3600 searches daily just in the local area here alone. Are you guys getting the answers? I think most men think they already know what women want in bed, but the sad truth is most of them really don't.

How do I know this? Because I coach hundreds of women about love and relationship. 90% or more are with a man that they so wish knew more. They don't tell them because to be honest, one of the things women want most in bed is a man in charge, a man that just knows and is open to exploring and encouraging her to be the tiger inside.

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Thing is so many men say that communication is the key. It's not. Sure it helps but it is not the key. The key is understanding a woman's sexuality. Understanding that sex is in her mind and how exactly this relates to what women want in the bedroom.

I challenge you to answer the following questions honestly.

Is your sexlife like a broken record, same thing everytime. Sure she has an orgasm but is it the almost the same everytime

Do you usually initiate sex and she rarely if ever does.

Do you ever turn her down when she comes to you for sex?

Do you think your partner has no sexual fantasies?

Do you not touch her hair, her face and look into her eyes while making love?

Do you neglect her other basic body parts, neck, arms, thighs, even feet?

Does sex always start in the bedroom and never outside of it?

Do you think she just wants to have an orgasm and teasing would not be all that welcomed?

Does she ever have to lay there for a while to catch her breath afterwards?

Do you stop at her one orgasm? Do you think that her orgasm means it's over? Is her one orgasm you single goal?

Do you know if your woman has a submissive or dominant nature in the bedroom.

If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, you do not know what women want in bed, sorry but you just don't.

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A woman is capable of extreme pleasure, multiple orgasms and wild passion. Talking to here about it is not going to wake her up. She craves and desires a masterful lover. She dreams about it.

Just the dominant/submissive question alone speaks volumes. I have been with a few men in my lifetime and until recently, not a one ever knew I prefer the submissive role in the bedroom. They all thought they knew me, but never really did. The lovers in my past would be shocked to know this about me actually. I never told them to be honest because there wasn't a single one that would have gotten it.

This doesn't mean they were bad lovers, I have had the orgasms, but they weren't great lovers. A great lover knows these things instinctively because he is in tune with a woman's sexuality. A great lover awakens something primal in his partner. Can you do this. He has taken the time to learn what women want in bed.

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Does your partner respond to you like this video clip. You can be she wants too? If you have never seen this movie, well let me summarize. Mickey Rourke knew how to push the buttons in Kim Bassinger's mind to get her to show him what it was she really really wanted in bed. This is a masterful lover.

Female Fantasies

When I ask men if they think women fantasize about sex as much as men, most say no. Let me tell you that is far from the truth. A woman's fantasy is often more complex, more thought out than a mans. Female fantasies can go on for days in her mind. It's what she calls to mind when she masturbates or pleasures herself.

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If you think they are all pure, such as being swept off into the sunset, think again. Women fantasize about all kinds of things, but with women there is usually a plot.

Some of the common female fantasies include the rape fantasy, the gyno fantasy, and almost every woman has fantasized about another woman going down on her. I doubt there is a woman alive who hasn't had this fantasy. The forced orgasm is another fantasy.

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If you think you know what goes on in your woman's mind, I would wager that you don't. Women don't tell their men more times than not because the men don't make them feel safe to do so. They fear his reaction or that he may think she is perverted or be turned off by it.

It's a shame really, because we keep them locked inside and a females fantasy if shared can take her to new heights in the bedroom. Just being able to share it with you alone opens her up more and makes her feel safe and able to let loose with you like you only dream about or see in the porn flicks.

So many men think they know all about women and what turns them on when in fact they know very little. I am not saying you are a terrible lover, but I know a woman who's partner gives her orgasms without even touching her. This can be done, because sex for a woman is in her mind.

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If you haven't been exploring your woman's female fantasies, you are missing out on one of the most heightened sex life you could imagine. The best lover I ever had embraced my fantasies and I have yet to find another that could compare.

Female fantasies are powerful for women. We are stimulated in our minds. Read us an erotic story over showing us pictures any day and see what happens.

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If you aren't improving your sex life and you are wondering why it's so dull, don't always blame the woman, because you don't know what you don't know. Women, all women are capable of multiple orgasms. Is your woman experiencing them?

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